why, oh why. [muse&&open]

[lyric ♫]

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[bg=080305] Back and forth, back and forth. The large black tom's tail drooped, barely sweeping along the dirty floor of the camp just outside his den as he paced continuously back and forth. It was now just after sun-high and the sun, with no clouds to stop it, beat down onto his dark pelt forcefully as his skin burned beneath. He barely noticed any of the activity sweeping through the camp, when his yellow eyes stared straight ahead as he paced. It was clear that he was thinking about something; something that he didn't like to talk about, not to anyone. It had only been one moon since the war ended and he had become leader, and he couldn't seem to let it go. The pain of all his losses was simply starting to become too much. He hadn't even had much of a kithood because of the war. He was brought up in all of that bloodshed, and all he could do now was fight off all his demons the best that he could. Fighting had become scorched into his blood because of that war. He knew that he couldn't trust BrookClan just because they agreed on peace, but he'd heard many stories growing up of how the two clans were once the greatest of allies and had never fought before that time. He wondered, what then sparked in his uncle to partake in that war? And could they never be what they once were? No, he guessed not. That war contained many battles, many more than he dared to count, and he figured that even Stripestar felt eager for revenge. After all, they had to have taken just as many BrookClan lives and vice versa. He stopped, sighing. And there was one other thing that troubled him, or rather, angered him. He sat, wrapping his tail around his paws and he looked around the camp for his younger cousin, though he couldn't see him right off the bat. Barkfoot's brother, Ashstorm disappeared from the final fight with BrookClan. Spiderstar had told the clan to assume that he was dead, but not everyone believed that he was. And even he had doubts, for if he were dead, why then could no cat find his body? He swiped a tongue over his front paw, pulling it up and over his ear in a brief washing as he waited for Barkfoot to come into view. words: 403. muse: good.

[MUSE. ™]

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[bg=#000000] The tom had put off waking for far too long, he assumed. The warrior den was starting to thin out, with only those cats left who had been out on late night patrols and the like. But it didn't matter when Barkfoot got into bed, because he could never sleep. Guild-laden and with terrible memories from the war, he laid awake on most nights just staring at his paws. Or anything around him, really. Barkfoot was certain that he wasn't alone in this, he wasn't the only cat in the Clan who had lost someone. He wasn't the only cat in the Clan who had witnessed the gruesome battles. But he was probably the only cat who laid in his nest longer than he should because he couldn't sleep at night. Every other cat got up and went about their daily lives, but with the war so fresh, he certainly could not understand how. Perhaps they were all just stronger than him. Yes, that was probably it. Barkfoot had never been renowned for his strength, after all. With a bit of a yawn, he stood up from his nest and stretched. He was sure to groom his fur down and pick out any stray pieces of grass or feathers that had gotten tangled in with his fur before he stepped gingerly from his nest and made his way into the bright New-Leaf sun. He blinked his clear green eyes a few times and then looked around camp. As he expected, it was bustling with activity. The freshkill pile was pretty full, kits were playing, apprentices were groaning about the tasks their mentors had assigned them. The thought of apprentices caused Barkfoot to grimace a bit. He'd almost forgotten that he had an apprentice. Yeah, that was pretty terrible. Poor Leopardpaw had gotten the short end of the stick when it came to mentors. Ah, but nothing could be done. Spiderstar wasn't the kind of cat to let anyone off when it came to duties. Not that he should anyway. Barkfoot glanced over the camp once more before sitting down a few from the warrior den and making himself comfortable. He hadn't spotted Leopardpaw anywhere, so it wasn't like he could take him out into the forest and teach him anything. It was a bit of a relief for the under confident tom, who was a bit frightened at the prospect of having the young cat's future in his paws. More so, what if they got attacked while they were out? He'd be battling alone, and he knew his battle skills were somewhat laughable. He sighed a bit and wrapped his tail around his paws, waiting to either find Leopardpaw or be approached and given some sort of task. words: 458. muse: good.

[doc]

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[bg=000000] She had been out with the dawn patrol and her feet could tell, as could her eyes. She was tired, dreams had kept her awake again, not that she was surprised. Her paws were finally soothed when the she-cat settled herself, with a deep sigh that seemed to start at her paws, and just travel up. Blue eyes half closed, and the pale she-cat started her morning grooming. She was tucked away, at the edge of camp, out of the way of busy paws, and out of the way of irritable cats. The morning had been soothing, and it was a rather disturbing to be able to check the borders, and not have to worry of an enemy's attack, of pain and loss. It was enough to still make her jumpy whenever there was a rustle in the grasses. The she-cat stopped her grooming for a jaw cracking yawn. Sometimes, dawn just came too early! She shook her head as the yawn concluded, blinking sleepy eyes. She glanced towards the warrior's den, contemplatively. Maybe, she could slip in there for a nip of a nap. She nearly purred at the idea. She had never been someone to relish mornings, and the thought of getting a few more hours of sleep was enough to make her simply purr in delight. The warrior pushed herself to her paws, arching her back in a bone deep stretch, before padding towards the warriors' den. Just as she was almost there, Barkfoot was slipping out, looking dazed as usual. She felt a moment of sympathy, knowing just where it came from. She paused next to him, a small smile sent his way, but before she could utter a word, another yawn split her face. " M-morning, Barkfoot. You alright?" ()-------------------------() Life is full of regrets - Muse & Lyric But hold your head high - 291 Shed your tears for no one.- this is so short. x.x

[lyric ♫]

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[bg=080305] Stretching his back upwards, Spiderstar kneaded his claws in the dirt, quite frankly becoming bored having to wait around. He could've gone hunting, but taking a look at the fresh-kill pile he noticed that there wouldn't be any need for that, possibly for the rest of the day. If this was what it would be like every day, he just knew he was going to go mad. He waited anxiously for the return of all patrols, just waiting to hear that BrookClan had breached the borders or for a cat to come retrieve back up for a border skirmish that was already under way. But so far, nothing. Everything was quiet on the border, which almost made the black tom even more anxious. Were they silently plotting? He didn't know, but he felt sick just thinking about it. Then, his ears pricked up. Over at the warrior's den, Barkfoot was exiting. Of course. Why hadn't he thought to check there? It seemed to be his cousin's favorite place to hide if he didn't have anything else to do. Spiderstar usually liked to keep the younger tom busy, to keep his mind off of everything that happened, but that day he hadn't really needed Barkfoot for anything. Besides, keeping him busy wouldn't make the past disappear, he figured. Taking a step forward, he stopped when he saw another familiar cat, Rainshadow, approaching Barkfoot. If he could roll his eyes, he would have. He wanted to speak to his cousin alone, but he wasn't going to wait all day. Licking his neck fur flat, he began padding towards his cousin and the she-cat. 'M-morning, Barkfoot. You alright?' "Barkfoot, Barkfoot, Barkfoot," he repeated nonchalantly, almost like the sinister rasp of an enemy. If one didn't know Spiderstar, they'd think he was malicious, but it was more or less just the way his voice rolled off his tongue that gave the impression. He slowed down to a steady walk and circled around the two cats toward Barkfoot's left side, the tip of his tail flickering and his yellow eyes shining with sunlight. "I would ask that same question, but I'm more interested in finding that brother of yours," he hissed. "I wonder if he ran away... like a coward." Spiderstar's neck fur began to bristle again, which was a natural occurrence in every day conversation for him. But no, he knew that Ashstorm was anything but a coward. Why, then, did he disappear? Could it be that he really was dead, and that his body just fell somewhere difficult to reach? Maybe Spiderstar disregarded that theory because he didn't want Ashstorm to be dead. He didn't want to lose anymore of his family; not that he would admit that aloud. "Do you have any idea where he might go? He could be laying somewhere, wounded right now." words: 469. muse: good.

[MUSE. ™]

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[bg=#000000] Barkfoot saw Rainshadow approaching the den long before she reached him, but it was impossible for him to stand up and leave. It would be much too obvious that he was trying to avoid her, and the last he wanted to do was hurt any of his clan-mate's feelings. That would be terrible of him, after all. He cared for all of his clan-mates though he was socially awkward and withdrawn. He just didn't know how to express social emotion properly, so he kept it to himself. The closer she got to him, the harder he stared at his paws. He could feel his heart-rate rising as her footsteps got closer and closer. He swallowed hard as she stopped next to him, forcing his green eyes up to look at her. "M-morning, Barkfoot. You alright?" She mumbled out between a yawn. He sat silent for a moment, just looking at her before he forced himself to open his mouth and respond. "Oh.. Good morning... Rainshadow.." even to him the words sounded strangled and forced. This caused him to feel even more ashamed of himself, but he decided he still needed to answer her question. "Yeah, I'm fine." He lied, easily. Well, as easily as he could talk anyway. He looked back down at his paws, hastily adding a "You?" before his eyes were completely down-turned. 'You're so hopeless.' he snarled at himself, just waiting for her come up with some excuse to leave. They always did, and why wouldn't they? He was positively awkward. Thankfully.. Or maybe unfortunately, Spiderstar approached them before she had a chance to respond. He circled around them, stopping at Barkfoot's left side. Always one to be easily intimidated, he stared even more fervently at his feet. He listened almost ruefully to what his leader had to say, not really responding until.. "I wonder if he ran away... like a coward." At these words, Barkfoot jerked his head up and stared right into Spiderstar's eyes. He started to bristle a bit. How dare he? How dare he insinuate that his brother was a coward? It was an absolute insult to his memory! Yes, Barkfoot believed one hundred percent that his brother had died. What else explained it? Ashstorm certainly didn't run away, and Barkfoot didn't want to get his hopes up about anything. When he realized that he was still staring, quite angrily, at Spiderstar he looked straight back at the ground. "I-I don't know where he is." He muttered at his paws. Barkfoot honestly had no idea where his brother was.. If his brother was still alive. Barkfoot wished with everything that he knew where he was. Maybe then he could do something useful for once. words: 452 muse: good.

[lyric ♫]

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[bg=080305] He stepped back, his heart lurching. He'd never known his cousin to look another cat straight in the eye like that, not ever, but he knew that calling Ashstorm a coward probably wasn't the best thing to do. Especially when he didn't truthfully think that himself. A sudden, calming breeze kept him from retorting like he normally would to anyone that gave him a look like that, making him think about it first. And of course he came to the conclusion that he probably deserved that look this time. "I..." the black tom started, but stopped abruptly when he remembered that he wasn't alone with his cousin. I'm sorry. That's what he wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come out no matter how much he tried. It was just hard for him to get sentimental like that, so he searched his mind for a replacement; something that might give the impression of an apology without actually sounding like one. Something that could fool his mind into believing that it wasn't. He swiped his tongue around his maw, "You had every right to look at me that way," he said. Spiderstar lowered his head and stared his yellow orbs right into Barkfoot's green ones, almost with an apologetic glimmer to them. After a while, he raised his head again and stepped very close to the brown tabby, resisting the urge to brush up against his flank like family usually did, when Barkfoot once again stared back at his paws. 'I-I don't know where he is.' "That's fine. I didn't come over here to make things harder on you," the leader meowed before standing up, his tail swishing from side to side. "I came over here to ask you, do you want me to give up on finding his body? It might be easier to simply move on, and honor his memory..." Honestly, he couldn't believe that he himself was talking that way. He didn't want to give up on seeing Ashstorm come home alive, but he was Barkfoot's brother, not his and therefor it should be Barkfoot's decision. "I can remove the order that patrols keep a lookout for him, or I can triple the patrols." Spiderstar kneaded the dirt in front of him, praying that his cousin would make the decision that he agreed with. "It's your choice, cousin." words: 391. muse: fair.